Another Thing I Need to Fix About Myself

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I’ve been working with a kick-ass client for the last 6 months who is only—wait for it—

NINETEEN.

She’s extra near and dear to my heart because she’s getting her BFA to become a professional ACTRESS.

Although I never pursued a BFA, I understand that such programs are grueling on a physical, emotional, and mental level.

(yes, these are my THOUGHTS on what I’ve heard about BFA programs)

“Hannah” came to me initially because she was having trouble staying on top of it all, but made it clear that she WANTED to excel, so I was excited to take her on.

Throughout our time together, she has grown into a mature, authentic, vulnerable, articulate, and self-aware young woman. She’s open to playing with every tool I have to offer, but has a mind of her own to say when something isn’t working for her.

She’s gracious, FUN, and so enthusiastic about tapping into being her best self in ALL areas of her life…

So essentially, a DREAM CLIENT!

I’ve expressed to Hannah several times how proud I am of her and how I think she’s moved mountains in this growth work, and when I do, I get a little emotional!!

I see so much of MY 19-year-old self in her, and I get SO FREAKIN’ EXCITED about what her life will be like, being that she’s learning and applying these life-changing tools at such a young age both in school and in her personal life RIGHT NOW.

But like most of us, it’s much easier for Hannah to focus on the things she needs to “fix” over all of her wins.

I’m noticing this about myself after some major growth in my business over a short period of time.

I worry that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, or am getting “too confident” that clients will continue to effortlessly flock to me the way they have over the last few months, EVEN THOUGH I’ve closed up shop for the time being as I acclimate to managing 15 clients while wrapping up another job, continuing to audition, up my self-care game, maintain a pretty fab social life, and get back into dating again.

Which THEN makes me think, “Oh no, now that I’m dating again, I’ll lose my focus and momentum and everything I’ve worked so hard for will all go to shit!”

SUCH FUN THOUGHTS, RIGHT?

Instead of focusing on the fact that thanks to the growth in my business, I’m traveling to two countries next month, and have two more awesome trips planned for 2019, (not to mention some pretty amazeballs, boss-babe, hair extensions I treated myself to) MY BRAIN IS MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE WORRYING ABOUT PUTTING FIRES OUT THAT AREN’T CURRENTLY HAPPENING!

And when Hannah was given some constructive feedback from her professor who first and foremost told her that her TALENT is there, she went into panic about what she needed to “FIX.”

So before I plugged her thoughts into one of the most brilliant but simple tools that I use on myself and ALL my clients, I paused to say, “Hannah, first of all, do you understand how far you’ve come?”

This is where I want to be cautious of NOT being the coach who blows smoke up my clients asses just for the sake of making them “feel good,” because most of my work is about pushing them through lots of discomfort in order to get them to where they want to go…

Because let’s face it— if your life coach is constantly telling you how great you are, you’re NEVER GOING TO GROW.

But I also recognized that Hannah NOT fully CELEBRATING and OWNING all that she has accomplished during our time together, was making her feel like there’s SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER.

Her response was rushed with a “yeah, yeah, yeah, but there’s still so much I need to work on. My brain wants to focus on the negative.”

Well the good news is, SHE’S NOT CRAZY and NEITHER ARE YOU if you relate to this.

When I slowed her down to tell me what she thinks she’s achieved during our time together, I again got teary!

“I’m much more self-aware. I don’t suppress my anxiety. I’m willing to feel my uncomfortable feelings, and even though my school work isn’t perfect and I still struggle with that a bit, I’ve gotten much better at it.”

WHOA.

19, people.

Nine…

teen.

My next q was: DO YOU THINK YOUR PROFESSORS SEE THE HANNAH YOU ARE ON THE PHONE WITH ME, IN THE CLASSES YOU’RE IN WITH THEM?

“No. With you I feel so excited and motivated and confident on our calls, but then I’ll go to class and feel intimidated… like everything I say and do is the wrong thing and then I beat myself up, wishing I said NOTHING instead of saying something that I THINK they want to hear.”

Did I mention that this girl is only 19?!?

I’m BLOWN AWAY by her self-awareness and ability to articulate exactly what she “thinks” is wrong because the irony here is that THIS IS SUCH A WIN THAT SHE’S NOT ALLOWING HERSELF TO SEE!

Hannah, what if you looked at this constructive feedback as another awesome challenge to overcome the way you’ve done it so beautifully over the last 6 months with everything else?

Instead of THINKINGthere’s so much more I need to fix about myself,” why not CHOOSE TO THINK:

WOW— my professor thinks I’m talented!! He wants to best prepare me for the real world as a professional actress by giving me something else to work on, which I’m TOTALLY CAPABLE of because I already have evidence of being able to do the uncomfortable work!”

I reminded her that her professor is just human like her and I, and it sounds like he really is invested in guiding her to be her best self, like I am as her coach.

WHAT IF THE THOUGHTS YOU THINK ABOUT WORKING WITH ME THAT MAKE YOU FEEL CONFIDENT, INSPIRED, and EXCITED could also be applied to your professors who you’re currently ALLOWING to make you feel intimidated??

And when you’re back in class and getting in your head about how you “should” be, just come into the body again. Get out of your professor’s head and what HE is thinking about you, and come back to YOU.

Show him that not only are you the talented actress he recognizes, but that you’re also the hard-working, enthusiastic, prepared actress because you’re DOING the work.

When you are so psyched and solid about your work, who you are, and what you bring to the table in ALL areas of your life, you’re not worried about what others think.

I think about this as an actor myself, and as a coach, and as someone who’s now dating again.

If I’M so psyched about what I’ve prepared for my audition, or genuinely LOVE what I offer my clients, or am fully self-owned in who I am as a potential romantic partner, while always allowing room for growth, I won’t be worried about what the casting director, my clients, or the guy I’m on a date with thinks about me.

The chips are going to fall where they may— all I can do is rest my head on the pillow knowing I’m doing my best…

Nothing to fix here.

Just excitement about continuing to grow and learn until the day I die, and embracing all the discomfort that will INEVITABLY COME ALONG WITH IT.

Personally, I wouldn’t want it any other way, and I can’t wait to see what unfolds next for Hannah with this new “there’s-nothing-to-fix mindset!”

HAPPY CLAIRE YOUR MIND MONDAY.

Get on my waitlist to work with me, here.

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My Boyfriend's Other Girlfriend

My Boyfriend's Other Girlfriend

When you are in AUTHENTIC alignment with your TRUTH, and have DONE THE WORK to heal the kind of very low self esteem that allowed she and I to attract the kind of man who gets a sick high out of destroying women, THE MOST INCREDIBLE AND UNEXPECTED GIFTS WILL PRESENT THEMSELVES.

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I've Got "Trust Stuff"

I've Got "Trust Stuff"

“How is it ok to admit to him why I reacted the way I did, but also NOT allow myself to admit that I’ve got “trust stuff?”

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Single Girl At the Wedding. AGAIN.

Single Girl At the Wedding. AGAIN.

Instead of looking for someone to love the fuck out of you, why not start loving the FUCK OUT OF YOURSELF?!

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If Only I Didn't...

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…behave so poorly.

…send that accusatory email.

…stoop to his level.

There was a running theme of regret amongst friends and clients this past week.

We’ve all been there: wishing we could rewind time so that we could get a second chance at acting differently, and therefore control the outcome to be the opposite of what it is right now.

But WHAT IF THE OUTCOME IS EXACTLY HOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE?

Do you know how I know it is exactly the way it is supposed to be??

Your flawed and shameful behavior included?

BECAUSE THAT’S HOW IT HAPPENED!

AND…

wait for it…

Drumroll for the eyeroll pleeeeeassse…

When you argue with reality, you suffer… but only 100% of the time.

THANK YOU, LADY BYRON KATIE!

This doesn’t mean we do back-flips over lashing out on our loved ones, and give ourselves a nice pat on the back for our not so emotionally mature behavior.

But it DOES mean we get to take full responsibility and do some deeper digging on what our words and actions were really about, ALL THE WHILE LOVING OURSELVES THE MOST throughout the process.

Because unfortunately, the person on the receiving end of your negative behavior may pull back, judge you, or no longer want to be as close, whether that’s permanent or temporary.

And the natural reaction is to then shame and blame yourself for “effing things up.”

BUT HOW DOES THAT ACTUALLY SERVE YOU??

So often, we look for someone else to forgive us, and if they don’t, we ALLOW OURSELVES TO FEEL DOOMED.

But what if your only job was to FORGIVE YOURSELF?

I know— it’s the antithesis of what my early childhood catholic education taught me, BUT we don’t get to control the reactions of our loved ones!

We only get to pull ourselves up my our bootstraps, forgive the past, and do the work on ourselves so that we KNOW we will show up differently in our future.

But Claire, I’m scared I WON’T SHOW UP DIFFERENTLY.

I 100% guarantee you will show up differently in your relationships when you commit to DAILY MINDSET WORK.

Your thoughts create your results.

ALWAYS.

And if someone isn’t willing to forgive you or no longer wants you in his or her life, that ACTUALLY ISN’T A REFLECTION OF YOU— it’s a reflection of THEM.

I don’t say this from a place of judgement on them.

We are ALL doing the best we can, based on our unique veils of perception that were born from past experiences.

Finally, I’d like to leave you with this:

NOTHING IS PERMANENT.

This doesn’t mean you should hold out hope that the person you disappointed could come running back, but I’ve lived long enough to know that THE RIGHT PEOPLE ARE SHOWING UP AND LEAVING, AT THE EXACT RIGHT TIME.

I had a broken friendship for three years— one I was very resistant to repairing because of MY OWN ANGER and JUDGEMENTS— that is now one of the most meaningful friendships to me.

And there are two men in my life who I had very deep and intimate connections with, who I now consider dear friends— whenever I reach out to them, they’re there, and vice-versa.

I have a chuckle to myself whenever we connect, because my heart at one point had been CONSUMED with them, and when the relationships dissolved, I thought, “NEVER AGAIN!”

But the universe has a savvy way of working if you just show up to the present moment, do the work, and allow the chips to fall where they are SUPPOSED TO.

Surrender. Surrender. Surrender.

HAPPY CLAIRE YOUR MIND MONDAY.

I have ONE SPOT LEFT for my one-on-one coaching program.

GAH!!! This makes me SO excited.

I will be taking a break from taking on new clients for the months of October and November, and most likely, MY PRICES WILL GO UP IN DECEMBER.

Message me for a FREE CONSULTATION TO GET YOUR MIND CLAIRED.

XOXO

Claire

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Why Am I So Scared to Do the Work?

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The running theme in my consultations this past week was:

"I'm SCARED!" 

"What if I f*#@ it up?" 

"If I haven't been able to get to where I want to go up until this point, why will it happen now?"

"What if I invest all this time and money and realize you and I aren't the right fit?"

These are TOTALLY valid questions. 

After all, the brain will look for every excuse to stay in the comfort of your discomfort. 

But here's a little secret:

If you embark on this journey with me, I WANT YOU TO BE SCARED.

Not because I'm a mean coach, but because GROWTH AND CHANGE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY.

It's safe to say that most of us want the ideal relationship, healthy body, thriving business, and financial freedom...

But the reason some or all of those things aren't coming into fruition is because of your THINKING. 

Your thoughts create your results. 

ALWAYS.

And if you've habitually been thinking:

"dating is hard,"

"my body will never be perfect,"

"who am I to build my own business?"

...the likelihood is you'll struggle in those areas.

As proud as I was of my small but steady life-coaching business over the last two and a half years, it wasn't until I actually applied the tools and got a business coach to help MANAGE MY THINKING around raising my prices and asking for a longer time commitment from my clients.

My Irish Catholic guilt kicked in about charging more for my services, but then I realized:

I'm DOING MY CLIENTS A BIGGER SERVICE BY ASKING THEM TO MAKE A BIGGER INVESTMENT IN THEMSELVES.

And I know this because when I made the bigger financial investment and time commitment with my own coach, the more determined and committed I was to not mess around, and CREATE THE ABUNDANT RESULTS that have now BEAUTIFULLY unfolded over the last two months. 

It is SO scary and uncomfortable to rewire your brain to think differently. 

But isn't it ALSO UNCOMFORTABLE TO THINK ABOUT BEING IN THE SAME UNSATISFYING PLACE, 6 months or a YEAR FROM NOW?

Staying idle and committing to change are BOTH SCARY.

But one of those choices will bring SO MUCH MAGIC, FREEDOM, ABUNDANCE AND HAPPINESS. 

So why not choose the scary path with the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow???

Irish Catholic Guilt-Free to BOOT!

XOXO

Claire

PS I HAVE TWO SLOTS LEFT FOR MY ONE ON ONE COACHING PROGRAM.  You have a little less than 4 months of 2018 to finish it off with a BANG.  What are you waiting for?   Email me to schedule a session to scare the shite out of yourself:) 

 

 

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Being Your Best In Pain

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Happy Long Weekend, Loves!  

This week was an ABSOLUTE DOOZY for me, on multiple levels.  

I'm not at a point where I have a desire to share the nitty gritty as I continue to process and heal the multiple triggers, but what I DO WANT TO SHARE, is HOW I SHOWED UP IN MY LIFE, despite the physical and emotional overwhelm I was experiencing.  

On one particular day, I was riddled with anger and sadness--the kind of pain that made my heart physically hurt, my body go into a panic, and caused my resistance to reality to become a total BEAST.  

Of course these reactions frustrated the life coach within-- after all, I'm the QUEEN of preaching that when you argue with reality, you suffer.  

But boy did I argue and therefore suffer, with full awareness that doing so made me FEEL LIKE SHITE.  

I did what I tell all my clients to do-- BE WITH THE PAIN.  Breathe through it.  When you're ready, plug your thoughts into the model, and see what you can reach for that feels better, but still TRUE.  

I did those things, but STILL DIDN'T FEEL BETTER.

I went for a walk, but STILL DIDN'T FEEL BETTER.  

I went to yoga, but STILL DIDN'T FEEL BETTER.

And then I went into MORE PANIC.  

F*#$.

I have a consultation in TWO HOURS, and I feel MOST UNCLEAN to deliver to this wonderful human who's showing up and sharing her story with me for the first time.

I ALMOST didn't reach out to my coaching accountability partner, because I felt so much shame for not being able to Claire My OWN Mind.  

And I almost didn't reach out to my coaching group where my coach is always available, because I didn't want to hear that I should probably cancel and make sure I'm clean for my call at another time.

But then something in me knew better.  

I had done all I could for myself, and I realized that if I'm too proud to take this to the right people who will hold the space and never tell me what to do, but ask me the questions I need to answer to come to the right decision for ME, then how can I expect my clients to rely on me for when THEY ARE IN THE SAME SITUATION??  

Life coaches need life coaches!   

I'm usually pretty proud to say that I HAVE TWO COACHES, but on that day, I was ALSO AFRAID that what if my rage and pain were stronger than the love and expertise of my brilliant coaches and community?  

But what pushed me to reach out was that I knew I would want my clients to do the same.  

Practice whatchya preach, girl.

And what I got back were the most beautiful gems of wisdom, that cracked my heart open and made me shed more tears-- but ones of relief.

Claire, Do you think it’s possible for you to be CLEAN for your consult even if you’re experiencing the pain in your personal life? Is it possible to allow for both to be in your realm of possibility and not have one impact the other in a negative way? What if you can be absolutely EXTRA AMAZING (because you are) in your consult, while you’re still dealing with your pain?

I was blown away by Kathryn's immediate response, which reminded me of my experience at rock bottom 7 years ago and I was teaching a ton of yoga.  Right before every class, I thought, "There's no way I can get through this."  But I did, and my whole being would completely shift by serving others and doing what I love.

I responded to these beautiful, poignant questions that I had an automatic resounding YASSSSSSSS to.

I 100% CAN show up for this potential client in my pain without shame or resistance.  I have NEVER preached that this life coaching work is about feeling amazing 24/7, and sometimes I'm going to be in pain while I coach, which is TOTALLY OK!  

I was also offered an amazing gem by incredible coaching partner, Danielle:

Maybe the thing she's looking to hear from you today will be the exact thing you're needing to hear from yourself.  

GAAAHHHH!!!!!  And boy was she right.  The theme of the call was about standing in your authentic truth, regardless of what others will think and say.  

I stood in my truth this week multiple times, but the reactions weren't to my liking, which is TOTALLY OK!  I wouldn't have had it any other way because I LOVE that I express my truth, no matter what.  

So, what do you think ended up happening?  

The ownership of my pain without judgment and letting it be, allowed for one of the best consultations I'd ever given.  (**please note-- I didn't SHARE the info with the potential client, but I didn't push my experience out of the conversation either) 

She was highly complimentary over what I'd offered her, and we're going to follow-up on working together this week!  

I love how this work keeps pushing me to the next level.  

I love that I practice what I preach and have the ability to admit falling on my face or feeling stuck in my own life, while I still know I feel so clear about helping you with yours!

Blindspots are inevitable when we are the stars of our own movies.  

That's why we have tools and jin communities with those who know how to elevate our whole being, so that we can grow and thrive, vs spiral and hide.  

Where are you stuck?  

What blocks are holding you back from moving through your pain, and ultimately thriving from it?   

I encourage you to say "boy bye" to your shame, and take a chance on a FREE CONSULTATION with me to get you to where you want to go.

Pain will inevitably be a part of this growth journey, but so GODDAMN worth it.

Have a wonderful long weekend, my loves.

Love,

Claire

 

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My 12-Year-Old Self (Pic Included!)

My 12-Year-Old Self (Pic Included!)

Yes my parents loved me unconditionally but they didn’t know I was obsessively comparing myself to Brenda Walsh's tiny physique every Thursday night when I tuned in to Beverly Hills 90210.

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My Coach Interviewed Me on Her Podcast!

I have been working with an AMAZEBALLS coach over the last two months!  

Stacey Smith created a business program-- DIVA BUSINESS SCHOOL-- which I've decided was LITERALLY MADE FOR ME, so that I could take my life coaching business to the next level.

For so long, my personal growth work had been focused on healing my heart-- not just in intimate relationships but with ALL relationships.

Now that I felt pretty clear on how to consciously navigate my relationships, (of course we never know who will appear in our lives to ruffle some feathers but I feel EQUIPPED to handle it with my ginormous toolbox!) I decided it was time to start DATING MY BUSINESS!

Stacey was the perfect fairy godmother to appear in my life, and my business has grown exponentially as a result of my work with her-- not just on how to better market and sell myself, but on SHIFTING MY MINDSET.  

Since recording this podcast, I've grown my business to a place where I NEVER in a MILLION YEARS would have believed could happen in such a short period of time.  

Because of my work with Stacey, I'm now going to Cabo in November to learn even more from her and meet this incredible Diva Business School tribe I've been searching for over the last 2.5 years I've been a coach. 

And I was able to give notice to leave my job as a personal assistant, which I've had for the last 4 years, as I've juggled auditions and a small but steady group of coaching clients.

To say I'm ECSTATIC and couldn't shout this woman from the mountain tops even higher, IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!  

CHECK OUT THE PODCAST HERE!  It's the BONUS between episodes 46 & 47.

WARNING-- I F-BOMB A LOT.  And maybe cry.  

PAR FOR THE COURSE WITH MARY CLAIRE BYRNE.

Finally, I'm offering an AWESOME deal to GO ALL IN on working together for a YEAR with me!   OFFER EXPIRES SEPT 1st! 

What were your 2018 goals?  Have you met them?  If not, WHY NOT?

This is NOT an opportunity to shame yourself, but an opportunity to DECIDE:

WHAT BETTER TIME THAN NOW??  

You still have FOUR MONTHS to turn this stuff around!  

MESSAGE ME FOR A FREE CONSULT so we can discuss how I can guide you in MAKING YOUR DREAM A REALITY!!!  

Lots of love,

Claire

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Why My Business is BOOMING All of a Sudden

Why My Business is BOOMING All of a Sudden

My relationship with myself as a female entrepreneur was still mired in all kinds of effed-up, unworthy, Irish Catholic guilt that was blocking me from THRIVING in my business!!!!

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